―――涙を受け止める。

　翔鶴は俺の差し出した左手を受け入れながら涙を流しつつも儚く微笑みを浮かべてくれた。
　彼女と気持ちが通じ合えたことがたまらなく嬉しく思いつつも、こうして涙を流させてしまっていることがとても悔しく、彼女の優しさに甘えている自分に腹が立つ。

　今にして思えば、俺の曖昧な態度が彼女を一体どれほど傷つけていたのだろうか。艦娘たちの指揮する立場に甘んじ、彼女たちと不誠実な関係を続け、果てには自分のその不誠実さが彼女の妹まで傷つけた。
　本来なら、翔鶴には軽蔑され、罵倒され、呆れられ、憎しみを向けられてもおかしくはない。彼女の優しさにつけ込み、彼女の純粋さ穢して、さらには彼女たち姉妹の仲にまで亀裂を作ってしまった。

　そんな俺の内心を知ってか知らずか、彼女は涙を流しながら「瑞鶴、ごめんね、ごめんね」ともう鎮守府を去りいなくなった最愛の妹に謝っていた。
　受け止めきれなかった涙が俺の手の甲を伝い袖を濡らす。

　彼女をここまで追い詰めたの俺だ。
　俺のせいで大事な妹との絆を失い、かつての信頼し合えた仲間をも失った翔鶴はもう限界だ。ここでもし俺が罪の意識から逃れ、翔鶴を突き放すようなことをすれば彼女の心は完全に壊れてしまっていただろう。そして、そんな彼女につけ込み、都合のいい優しさで彼女を縛り付けようとする自分の傲慢さにほとほと呆れ返る。

　彼女を選んだのは同情でも、償いでもないとは言えないけれど、彼女に対する好意だけは本物だ。彼女と一緒に居たい。彼女と笑い合いたい。彼女と思い出を共有したい。彼女とこれからもずっと一緒に居たい。
　散々彼女を弄び、傷つけてしまった俺にそんな資格はもうないのかもしれないけれど、そんな俺を受け入れてくれた彼女の涙と微笑みを見て、この思いをもう二度と裏切りたくないと―――そう思った。

「提督……私は……私は果報者です」

―――I will stop her tears.

As Shoukaku accepted my hands on her cheeks, tears flowed down to her smile.
Though I am overflowing with joy to have our feelings reciprocate, it is not without deep frustration to have made her shed tears, and irk towards my ownself, spoiled by her endless kindness.

If I ponder about it now, I wonder how much my half-baked attitude have caused her pain? Taking advantage of my superior office, I kept numerous illicit affairs with the shipgirls. In the end, I even broke her little sister's heart.

Though she didn't, it is not unthinkable for Shoukaku to hold a grudge on me, to persecute me, to hate me with disgust, or scorn me.
I took advantage of her kindness, I violated her purity, and even caused a rift between her and her sister to form.

She might have, or might have not, known about my real lecherous intent as she tearfully apologized to her sister, forever lost from this naval base;
「I'm sorry... Zuikaku, I'm sorry...」
Her unending tears soaked the back of my hand and my sleeve.

I was the one who brought her misery.
I selfishly severed the bond she had with her sister, and I selfishly broke all the trust her comrades had in her.
I was the one who pushed her to the limit.

Should I escape from my responsibility and throw her aside, surely her psyche would be shattered completely.
Then, if I take advantage of such condition with a convenient kindness, surely I would have her reined in my grasps.

I am utterly disgusted that I could think of such arrogance.

Though I wouldn't say that it is not out of pity or atonement, that I want to be with her is the truth.
I want to be with her. I want to laugh with her. I want to make memories with her.
I want to be with her forever.

I might not have the right, for I have caused her pain, toyed with her feelings.
Despite all, she still accepted me. When I saw her shed tears, I have decided to never again betray her love.
―――That's what I believe.

「Admiral... I... I am very blessed...」